The Laundry Chute
Quick Hit #2
It's 1998
I'm 5
And Pokémon is HOT right now
I'm sitting in my mom's minivan on the way to my friend Lee's house
The sun is shining
And hopes are high
It's sure to be a fun playdate
We pull into Lee's driveway
My mom stops the car
::Click::
I unbuckle my seatbelt and hop out of the car
I walk up the driveway and head directly to the steps
I'm excited
I get to the door and ring the bell
::Dingggggg Donggggggg Bingggggg Bonggggggg::
::Bingggggg Bonggggggg Dingggggg Donggggggg::
Lee has one of those long door bell rings
How do they make door bells have different sounds?
Can you choose any sound for your door bell?
Can you choose the Pokémon theme song for your door bell??
::🎶 I wanna be the very best 🎶::
::🎶 Like no one ever was 🎶::
I see Lee's mom!
She opens the door and let's me know that Lee is upstairs
I take off my light-up Sketchers, wave goodbye to my mom, and make a dash for the stairs
I run through the kitchen
I pass by the laundry room
I get to the steps
And I sprint up them two at a time
When I get to the top
I make a quick right and walk into Lee's room
He's not there...
"Lee?"
Nothing
"LEE??"
I hear him call back
"Harry!"
I still can't see him though
"Where are you??"
"I'm in my parent's bathroom!"
Hmm
Why is Lee in his parent's bathroom?
Who knows?
I'll go find out though
I walk down the hallway and make a left into Lee's parent's bedroom
It's a nice room
So much space
Why do parents always have so many pillows on their bed?
What do they do with all of them?
I only have one pillow on my bed
Weird
I walk past the pillow pile and head for the bathroom
I step inside and there he is...
"Lee!"
"Harry!"
I give him a hug and a high five
"What do you want to do today?"
"Well I need your help with something" he says
"My help?"
"Yeah. I dropped two of my Pokémon cards down the laundry chute, and I need help getting them back"
"Okay. How can I help?"
"Come with me" he says
Lee takes me over to his parent's bathroom counter
He opens a cabinet under the sink
And he shows me a hole in the ground
"Okay, they're down here" he tells me
"What?"
"The Pokémon cards. They're down there"
"You have a hole in your floor"
"Well the Pokémon cards are down there"
"How did they get down there?"
"I threw them down there"
"Why?"
"I don't know. But we have to get them back"
Dang
I hadn't thought about it like that
He is so right
We have to get them back
"You have any ideas?" he asks
"Uhhh"
I walk over to the hole
Look down
And wonder...
Why would anyone leave a hole in the floor of their house?
There is floor everywhere else
Did they forget this one spot?
Yeah
Maybe they forgot
Then they put a cabinet here so nobody would notice
That must be it
Still
Why not cover it?
Use one of those extra pillows to plug it up
That's what I would do
"You have any ideas?" he asks again
"Hmm"
I sit down in front of the hole
I put a leg in and wiggle it around
I curl my toes to try and grab the cards with my feet
I lift my leg out...
No Pokémon cards
"It didn't work"
"You have any other ideas?" Lee asks
"Hmm"
I get down
And lay on my belly
I slide right next to the hole in the ground
And put an arm down it
I pretend my hand is a claw
And start grabbing
::Grab::
::Grab Grab::
::GrabGrabGrabGrabGrabGrabGrabGrab::
10 grabs later
I pull my arm out...
No Pokémon cards
"It didn't work"
"DANGIT! It didn't work when I tried grabbing either" Lee says
"You already tried grabbing?"
"Yeah"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know"
Hmm
I hadn't thought about it like that
Lee makes a good point
We sit there and think
How are we gonna get these Pokémon cards back?
What's the smartest thing we can come up with?
"I got it!" Lee says
"You do?"
"Yeah. I'll be right back"
Lee leaves his parent's bathroom
I stand over the hole and look down into it
What the heck is this thing?
Who has a hole in their floor??
I don't have any holes in the floor at my house
And why is it called a laundry chute?
Who throws their clothes down a hole?
Where does it go?
I put my laundry in a basket
Hmm
Lee's parents are from South Africa
Maybe this is how they get there?
My parents aren't from South Africa
That must be why we don't have a hole!
"I have the answer!" Lee yells
He runs back into the bathroom
He holds his arm out in front of him and shows me
"I got a belt" he says
"Does this hole go to South Africa?"
"No"
"Oh okay"
Lee walks over to the hole
He gets on his belly
And he dangles the belt
He fishes around for a few seconds and pulls the belt out
No Pokémon cards
"You try"
I try
No Pokémon cards
"DANGIT! We have to get those cards, Harry"
"I know"
"What should we do?"
"Where does that hole go to?"
"It's not a hole. It's a laundry chute"
"Where does that laundry chute go to?"
"I've got it!"
"You do?"
"Yeah, I'll be right back"
Lee leaves his parent's bathroom again
I wish I knew where this hole went to
::🎶 I wanna be the very best 🎶::
::🎶 Like no one ever was 🎶::
"Here we go!" Lee yells
He runs back into his parent's bathroom
He's holding another belt
"What are you going to do with that?"
"Watch this" he says
Lee picks up the first belt
Then ties the two together
Wow
Look how long those belts are now!
This kid is a genius
His parents should have consulted him before putting a hole in their floor
We look at each other
Those cards are as good as ours
We walk over to the hole
I let Lee do the honors since he came up with the amazing idea
He gets on his belly and puts the belts down the hole
He starts to fish
One Mississippi
Two Mississippi
Three Mississippi
He pulls the belts out...
No Pokémon cards
He's shocked
I'm shocked
"You try"
I try
No Pokémon cards
I give him the belts back
He throws them down the hole in disgust
"What the heck?!" Lee shouts
"Any other ideas?"
"No"
"Okay"
"I have to go to the bathroom" he says
"Okay"
"I'll be right back"
"Okay"
Lee leaves his parents bathroom for the third time
Wait a second
Why didn't he just go to the bathroom in here?
Eh
I'm sure he has his reasons
He's a genius
I stand over the hole
I look into it for about a minute
And then I hear Lee stomping back towards his parent's bathroom
He walks in with a determined look on his face
"I'm going in after them"
"What?"
"Move over"
Lee pushes me out of the way
He sits down next to the hole and puts one leg in
"What are you doing?"
He doesn't answer
He puts his other leg into the hole
"Lee?"
No response
He turns onto his belly
And he shimmies in further
His body halfway into the hole
"Uhh Lee, are you sure?"
"I have to get the cards"
"Where does the hole go?"
"It's not a hole. It's a laundry chute!"
He slides down further
Past his belly button
Further
Past his shoulders
And then he realizes what he's done...
"HELP!!!"
"Lee??"
"HARRY HELP!!"
I run over to the hole
Lee's entire body is inside of it now
His arms are outstretched
And his fingers are holding on for dear life
He looks up
"HARRY HELP I'M GOING TO FALL!"
"Here, take my hands!"
I grab his hands and start to pull
Why are they so slippery?
"Lee why are your hands so slippery???"
"I DIDN'T DRY THEM AFTER THE BATHROOM!"
"Why not?"
"I DON'T KNOW!!"
Dang
I hadn't thought about it like that
Even with everything going on he still makes such good points
A true genius
"HARRY HELP!!!"
His fingers start to slip
First his pinkies
Then the others
He looks up as the last finger slips
I lose his grip completely...
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
a
a
a
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
"Lee?"
...
"LEE?!"
My heart is racing
I'm freaking out
Lee's dead
This is NOT good!
What do I do?
WHAT DO I DO??
"Lee's mom!"
Where is she??
"LEE'S MOM!!"
Lee's mom walks into the bathroom
"What do you need Harry?" she asks
"Lee fell down the hole..."
"What?"
I point at the hole
"Lee fell down the hole!"
"OH MY GOD!"
Lee's mom runs out of the bathroom
I run right behind her
We rush downstairs
Through the kitchen
And straight to the laundry room
Is this where the hole leads?
Why didn't Lee tell me this before?
We could have just come down here and gotten the Pokémon cards
What the heck, Lee??
We get inside
Lee's mom heads for the cabinet above the washing machine
She reaches up and opens it
And there he is
I see Lee
Sitting on three green towels, two belts, and a pair of khakis
With a big smile on his face
He holds up the Pokémon cards
"We got 'em"
- Harry W. Brodsky